He said he can stay with me because he’s staying home to revise

If only mum knew my cousin was a devil in disguise

‘Mum please don’t leave me’

I try to tell her using just my eyes.

I run up to the window to see if she’s really out of sight

Mum i hate staying with him, I tell her from the inside of my mind

As she looks up from the car and we meet eyes

I feel him walk into the room and I know it’s about to begin

This disgusting game is one that only he can ever win.

I wish I could just suffocate

I know what’s about to happen as he closes the curtains and he says

‘I really want to masturbate’

Masturbate? I’m 5, don’t you have no shame?

He carries me to the sofa

‘We’re going to play our game’

I’m scared as he removes his belt, unzips his belt and bring himself to exposure

I tell myself to just do as he says , because that way it will quickly be over

‘Now do what I taught you with your hands’

He smiles as he opens my tiny palms and wraps it onto his skin

He starts pushing himself up and down, I’m just blankly staring at him.

It’s getting harder, I’m getting scared

It’s getting bigger, I weren’t prepared

If this is a game, why can’t my brother play it I ask

And as soon as I ask I start to regret it

‘This game stays between you and I’

I nod my head and I start to cry

He’s a 16 year old playing strange games with a child and I don’t know why

The game gets weirder and things go south

When he tells me that I must open my mouth

He’s meant to be my cousin, whats this about?

So now do you understand why I can never trust men?

He holds my little lips and releases his semen

It’s been going on for over a year, he might stop soon

On the clock , not big hands are on 12, it must be noon

Mum normally comes back when the big hands on three

She’s the only one that can rescue me

He plays with my flower and then I must play with his thing until he releases white

When mum works until morning, he abuses me all night

I don’t understand this game but I know it’s not right