He said he can stay with me because he’s staying home to revise
If only mum knew my cousin was a devil in disguise
‘Mum please don’t leave me’
I try to tell her using just my eyes.
I run up to the window to see if she’s really out of sight
Mum i hate staying with him, I tell her from the inside of my mind
As she looks up from the car and we meet eyes
I feel him walk into the room and I know it’s about to begin
This disgusting game is one that only he can ever win.
I wish I could just suffocate
I know what’s about to happen as he closes the curtains and he says
‘I really want to masturbate’
Masturbate? I’m 5, don’t you have no shame?
He carries me to the sofa
‘We’re going to play our game’
I’m scared as he removes his belt, unzips his belt and bring himself to exposure
I tell myself to just do as he says , because that way it will quickly be over
‘Now do what I taught you with your hands’
He smiles as he opens my tiny palms and wraps it onto his skin
He starts pushing himself up and down, I’m just blankly staring at him.
It’s getting harder, I’m getting scared
It’s getting bigger, I weren’t prepared
If this is a game, why can’t my brother play it I ask
And as soon as I ask I start to regret it
‘This game stays between you and I’
I nod my head and I start to cry
He’s a 16 year old playing strange games with a child and I don’t know why
The game gets weirder and things go south
When he tells me that I must open my mouth
He’s meant to be my cousin, whats this about?
So now do you understand why I can never trust men?
He holds my little lips and releases his semen
It’s been going on for over a year, he might stop soon
On the clock , not big hands are on 12, it must be noon
Mum normally comes back when the big hands on three
She’s the only one that can rescue me
He plays with my flower and then I must play with his thing until he releases white
When mum works until morning, he abuses me all night
I don’t understand this game but I know it’s not right